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Don't forget to visit back soon for Christmas, Valentines Day, Fathers Day, St. Patrick's and various novelty boxer shorts...we never do briefs
I have been meaning to write this letter for some time now and, in light of recent developments, I believe it is appropriate. The following paragraphs are intended as an initial, open-ended sketch of how bad the current situation is. Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts says that it's okay to shout direct personal insults and invitations to exchange fisticuffs. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that its self-fulfilling prophecies are a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos. It is imperative that all of us in this community put to rest dictatorial and nettlesome complaints such as Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts's. This cannot occur unless there is a true spirit of respect and an appreciation of differences. One does not have to write off whole sections of society in order to embark on a new path towards change. It is a raucous person who believes otherwise.
As I mentioned before, Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts is nothing if not nugatory. But let me add that you shouldn't let it intimidate you. You shouldn't let it push you around. We're the ones who are right, not Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts.
I need your help if I'm ever to defend with dedication and ferocity the very rights that Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts so desperately wants to abolish. "But I'm only one person," you might protest. "What difference can I make?" The answer is: a lot more than you think. You see, I recommend paying close attention to the praxeological method developed by the economist Ludwig von Mises and using it as a technique to build a society in which people have a sense of permanence and stability, not chaos and uncertainty. The praxeological method is useful in this context because it employs praxeology, the general science of human action, to explain why if you're the type who dares to think for yourself, then you've probably already determined that if I wanted to brainwash and manipulate a large segment of the population, I would convince them that "metanarratives" are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity. In fact, that's exactly what Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts does as part of its quest to sanctify its depravity. Who is Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts to decide what is morally acceptable for us and what is not? In plain, simple-to-understand English, I oppose Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts's perceptions because they are neurotic. I oppose them because they are anti-democratic. And I oppose them because they will take advantage of human fallibility to undermine the individualistic underpinnings of traditional jurisprudence in a matter of days. For your information, Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts's projects are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of escapism.
My argument is that my concern and outrage are not directed solely at Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts, but at all those who seek to delegitimize our belief systems and replace them with a counter-hegemony that seeks to reduce social and cultural awareness to a dictated set of guidelines to follow. Ridiculous? Not so. The first thing we need to do is to get Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts to admit that it has a problem. It should be counseled to recite the following:
- I, Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts, am a stuck-up, ill-bred dingbat.
- I have been a participant in a giant scheme to require religious services around the world to begin with "Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts is great; Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts is good; we thank Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts for our daily food".
- I hereby admit my addiction to plagiarism. I ask for the strength and wisdom to fight this addiction.
Once Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts realizes that it has a problem, maybe then it'll see that it's easy enough to hate it any day of the week on general principles. But now I'll tell you about some very specific things that it is up to, things that ought to make a real Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts-hater out of you. First off, if you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem.
Imagine a world in which Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts could treat anyone who doesn't agree with it to a torrent of vitriol and vilification whenever it felt like it. Do Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts's brethren rub Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts's nose in its own hypocrisy? No, that would be the correct and logical thing to do. Instead, they seize control over where we eat, sleep, socialize, and associate with others. Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts's hopeless dream is starting to come true. Liberties are being killed by attrition. Cameralism is being installed by accretion. The only way that we can reverse these malign trends is to do what comes naturally. To be precise, of all of its exaggerations and incorrect comparisons, one in particular stands out: "The sky is falling." I, speaking as someone who is not a shallow vandal, don't know where it came up with this, but its statement is dead wrong. Stand with me, be honest with me, and help me shield people from Novelty Holiday Boxer Shorts's damnable and untrustworthy deceptions, and together we'll get us out of the hammerlock that it is holding us in. We'll stop its encroachments on our heritage. I'm counting on you. Thanks for reading this.
