The Florida Boxer Short Outlaws. Enforcement of Boxer Short Sagging Laws

The world has clearly lost it's mind. The Florida anti- Sagging Boxer Shorts laws are being enforced. Novelty Boxer Shorts from web undies will soon be illegal if the right wing, historically boxer short wearers have their way. Freedom to wear Boxers!!

Albert Graham was wearing red boxer shorts. Kenneth Smith's boxers were blue and white. Morrius Bleau's undergarments weren't described in the police affidavit of his arrest.

But they all landed in county jail in recent weeks for violating the newest law on Riviera Beach's books: wearing pants so low that undergarments or skin are exposed.

Since the saggy pants law went into effect in mid-July, arrest records show that city police have made at least four arrests for the violation. And despite controversy over the constitutionality of fashion policing, which Mayor Thomas Masters touted as a move toward decency, the city and its police are making no apologies.

"Prior to implementation of this ordinance, our officers were providing warnings to people ... and an educational period," said Lt. Alex Freeman. "It is now time to act and let the community know that we are now serious about this ordinance."

--> Bleau's arrest was on a Sunday. The 18-year-old, who has a felony arrest record, said he was on his way home from church on Aug. 24.

"I ain't doing nothing," he told the officer aggressively after ignoring orders to stop, his arrest affidavit said. He was charged not only for his low-hanging pants but for resisting arrest.

"How can you stop somebody for following a fashion? I don't think we should get punished for the way we dress," Bleau said this week. "I feel this is just another way to harass black men. It's just an easier way for police to have probable cause to mess with somebody."

Jose Eisenberg, 20, of West Palm Beach was the first arrest, showing 3 inches of his purple boxers on July 31. The image was caught on the police cruiser's video recorder as he was being cited, his arrest report said.

Graham, 20, was caught on Aug. 23 wearing his shorts in what's often called hip-hop style. He too faced off with the officer, shouting he'd done nothing wrong, and was outside his mother's house, the arrest affidavit said.

He fought the handcuffs and was charged with resisting arrest.

Smith, 29, was at the end of his driveway Tuesday when he got busted with his pants too low. Police said they were responding to a call about a drug sale. They found Smith talking to someone in a car. He wasn't wearing a shirt and his pants were hanging low, the officer wrote in the report.

Smith, who has a record of multiple felonies, was "loud and uncooperative," the officer wrote. Smith was also charged with disorderly conduct.

Each man faces a possible fine of up to $150 for a first offense, $300 for a second offense, while repeated offenses can bring up to 60 days in jail.

The arrests renewed objections that the law violates civil rights. The American Civil Liberties Union said it will support any challenge to the law if someone is arrested.

"I can understand people don't like underwear showing over pants. I don't like it. But ... it is constitutionally protected," said John Pauly, ACLU Palm Beach County chairman. "It's not illegal to walk down the street in a pair of boxers provided nothing is exposed. So how can it be illegal for someone to put pants on top of those shorts?"

Smith's family charge the Police Department is targeting them and the saggy pants arrest is just the latest incident.

"There was no cocaine or drugs. They had to think of something to cite him with," said Dora March, Smith's mother. "It wasn't about the baggy pants. A lot of people stop by and say it's wrong, very wrong."

Smith's lawyer Nicole Sauvola said the law is "designed to be pretextural, to stop somebody for some other reason, to shake that person down." She added, sarcastically: "Because everybody who wears saggy pants deals drugs."

Freeman said police are simply doing their jobs, and it will take time for people to accept the law.

"Our officers are enforcing the ordinance because now it is the law," he said. "There is no way our officers are attacking anyone or singling anyone out.

"This type of response is expected," Freeman added. "We will face that as it comes. But we expect our officer to enforce the ordinance."
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In recent news vitally important to the survival of the planet, an Associated Press story from suburban Chicago tells us that “leaders of the village of Lynwood passed a law that would levy a fine of $25 against anyone showing three inches or more of underwear in public.”

The passage of the law was precipitated by young men who the fearless leaders believed wore their baggy pants too low, thereby exposing large areas of their boxer shorts. I’m guessing that enforcement will be lax as policemen will be understandably reluctant to go around shoving a tape measure into young men’s pants to measure anything.

The mayor of Lynwood asserts that, “Young men walking around with low-hanging pants showing their underwear is ruining economic development and keeping major retailers away.”

I’m sure that this is an important criteria for Wal-Mart Corporation‘s site selection for new store locations. They undoubtedly have teams of scouts scouring small towns all across America to keep tabs on the dressing habits of ordinary citizens.

Underwear Scout, reporting to Wal-Mart following a road trip and an extensive study of clothing habits in the Greater Chicago area: “No, Lynwood is out! We can’t possibly open a store in Lynwood; it’s out of the question!”

Leaning forward, he whispers into the ear of the executive, “They wear their pants too low!”

The executive gasps in astonishment, nods in agreement and replies, “No, I quite agree, it would go against everything we stand for. Lynwood is out.”

Many communities across the country have tried almost everything to keep Wal-Mart out of their towns. Their efforts are nearly always futile. How did they overlook this tactic for so long?

The answer was right there all along, just have everyone in town wear their pants low and show everyone their boxers — a small price to pay to protect local businesses and avoid the tacky clutter of suburban sprawl and keep that small town feel that everyone longs for when it’s gone.

But if the village leaders are still hell bent on development, they need to do some creative thinking, not pass silly, unenforceable laws that irritate citizens and take policemen away from important duties.

There’s a forgotten army the mayor could easily recruit in his never-ending battle against the Axis of Evil in Lynwood — low-hanging pants and boxer shorts.

You know who they are. You probably have one in your family. Yes, I’m talking about the old guys who wear their pants pulled up to their chests. These guys are everywhere. They greatly outnumber the low-hanging pants guys.

So, Mayor, when the low-hanging pants guys have a protest, marching up Main Street to the Village Square while holding up their pants with one hand, start the old guys, with pants up to their armpits, marching up Main Street to the Village Square from the other direction.

Think of the hundreds of spectators there to witness the young guys with low-hanging pants meeting head-on the old guys with their pants up to their armpits. You could feel the tension crackling in the air — before everyone starts laughing.

You could set up booths around the square and sell food, drinks and printed boxer shorts commemorating the event, all to raise money for charity.

Whatever happens in Lynwood now, I bet that in 50 years, all the young guys will be spending winters in Florida, driving 10 miles an hour, eating supper at 4 p.m. and wearing their pants up to their armpits.

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